It’s not all sex, drugs and rock’n roll.

That swinging couple on the fourth floor (the one who has brought you the “screaming five minute orgasm” and the “is he spanking her at three in the morning?”) got together at a few minutes to midnight Wednesday and…

took turns eating cold corn-on-the-cob over the kitchen sink.

Man we are so kinky!

Double scoop waffle cone in 48 degree (F) weather.

Chocolate chocolate on top of pumpkin cheesecake.

The world is falling. My brain is spinning faster than the earth. My life is slipping further out of reach. My lungs have refused to fill with air. Even my stomach rejects the food I fill it with.

And I am out of fight.

So instead:

I spend a whole morning cumming over and over. My head slung over the edge of the mattress, the room upside down, as I scream and scream and scream.

I sleep in till three in the afternoon.

I read trashy novels about men in riding boots.

I wear the same sweat pants I wore yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that.

I forgo underwear. I shun bras.

I lie on my back for hours staring at the bug with the huge pincers crawl over the light fixture.

I say simple words in french over and over so it sounds like I speak it fluently.

I listen to Ricky Martin.

I brush my hair one hundred times.

And at midnight I take a piping hot shower and crawl under the covers clothes-less to enjoy tart, sweet, bursting strawberries covered in a soft down of mold. The same way everything else is covered in a soft veil of frost and depression.

Over the past few days I have had the opportunity to compare the taste of two substances that have a notorious reputation.

Cum and Cough Syrup.

I have been conducting my own, informal, study on the taste of these two liquids and have come to the following conclusions.

Cum is better after fruit.
Cum is worse after Guiness.
Cum always tastes better in larger spurts.

Cough Syrup is ALWAYS worse than Cum. Hands down. All the time.

You would think with all that money the pharmaceutical companies throw around they could come up with a product that tastes better than cum. Seriously, when are they going to work on that?